Director's Cut: Shika, Move!
by sarsaparillia
Summary: My camera crew thinks I've gone mad. Maniacal laughter, terrible acting, and the awkwardest couple in history come to life through my awesomeness! Third in a series of four.


Here we go again! –Claps hands happily– Now watch in amusement as I try my damndest to get Shikamaru off his lazy ass to ask Temari out! BWAHAHAHA!!!!

**Dedication:** Ne! To **blackmistgirl2**! Because she basically ordered me to get off my lazy ass and write this. Sigh… I'm so lazy…

**Disclaimer:** Me no own Naruto. I just own the director chick (I own myself. Whoo.) and that's about it.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

**((My awesome ANs.))**

_Emphasis on certain words or song lyrics. You're all smart; you'll figure it out._

---

I sighed in frustrated amusement. Shikamaru wasn't _listening to meee…_

And it was making me angry.

"All you have to do is not be lazy!"

"Troublesome…"

"STOP SAYING THAT!!!"

He winced at the volume in my voice. A satisfied smirk found itself on my lips, and I had a sudden urge to giggle madly.

So I gave in to said urge, and started to giggle madly.

He looked at me like I'd just gone crazy. Well, I sort of had… I just need to find Temari, and get to my studio, and then _good_ things could happen!

Time to set plan number three in motion! Shikamaru's next!!!

And then I started to laugh like a maniac, with Shikamaru staring at me like I was a crazed naked mole-rat or something. And I'm _not_, thank you _very_ much!!! …Well, I _think_ I'm not, anyways…

I calmed my evil little mind down, and stared him straight in the face.

"Right then. Sign here, and you have your contract. It's not a long part of the movie, but it's long enough to warrant a major part."

He was still looking at me suspiciously, but he reached for the pen, and signed. His. Name.

Oh, you poor, poor man. Temari'll have you whipped in less then a week, I'll bet you anything.

"Who's my opposite?"

I smiled at him, and I think he saw the evil killing intent in my eyes. Damn.

"Sabaku no Temari, not that it really matters."

I'm such an awesome liar. But his face was rapidly paling, and I think I heard something crack. A simple little giggle escaped my lips.

"Filming starts tomorrow. _Don't be late_. You will no longer have balls if you are."

Shikamaru's eyes widened and he gulped at the threat in my words, and left the room as fast as he could, without being rude. I let out another mad giggle, and tossed my short, ink-black hair back.

Oh, I love messing with my actors.

---

Temari was staring at me, one eyebrow raised.

"You actually managed to get the lazy-ass to do something?"

She sounded a little (actually no, a lot) surprised, and I just shrugged, and evil, secret smile on my lips. She saw it, and she knew exactly what I'd done. As she kept staring at me, I clapped my hands and giggled like the small child I truly am (deep down I am a two-year old, and most of my actors think it to be true. My camera crew, on the other hand… They _know_ I'm a match-making two-year-old who, unless she get's her way, will throw temper tantrums to rival Sakura's).

"If you scarred him for life, I am going to murder you."

"Admit Tema-chan, you can't believe the fact that he's actually doing something voluntarily."

"It probably wasn't voluntary."

"Well, I didn't threaten him with bodily harm, the way I had to with Sasuke. I did threaten his manhood though, if he was late."

Temari shook her head at me, and shoved a something in my direction, and sauntered off.

OHHHH!!! MANGA!!!!! The fangirlish part of me squeals in happiness as I shove my nose in the book, and start reading. Yay, I love Ryuuzaki…

Something startled me out of my random, fangirlish giggling. Temari was standing in the doorway, and had thrown something else at me.

This time, it was a vase.

I pouted at her, and she just pointed at the door. I pouted some more, and then I followed the sandy-haired jounin out of my hovel of a studio.

She turned around and glared at me, and I stuck my pierced tongue out at her. She sent me one of the infamous finger-crooks, and I dashed past her into the filming set.

"Right then. EVERYONE! PLACES!!!"

They all looked at me.

I cackled manically.

They gulped, and went about doing what I'd told them to do. Bwahaha. My poor camera crew; I'm so horrible to them. But I pay them well enough to make up for it.

Shikamaru and Temari were facing off, to the backdrop of the Konoha gates. The wind had tousled both of their hair, and the sun was setting. God, could it _get_ anymore cheesy?

Temari spoke first, her eyes slightly narrowed, in anger or sadness, Shikamaru could not tell.

"Shikamaru, I'm leaving."

"I know."

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Maybe."

"…You're an ass."

It went silent. Damnit, Shikamaru!

"DAMNIT, DID YOU EVEN READ THE SCRIPT?!?!?!?! WHY CAN I NOT GET GOOD HELP?!" I screamed my lungs out, at the both of them.

It was _waaaaay_ too awkward between them.

"In the script, you're supposed to grab her, and yadda, yadda, yadda. Why do I see no kissy-kissy smoochy-smoochy here?!"

"Because there… wasn't?"

My voice went deadly quiet as I answered Shikamaru.

"My script. My rules. Remember, Shikamaru, one step forward, Temari, one back."

They both gulped.

"From Temari's 'You're an ass.' ACTION!"

"…You're an ass."

Shikamaru took one step forward. Temari took one back, still just out of reach. Another step forward, and he grabbed a tendril of sandy-blond hair, and wrapped it around his fingers.

She looked startled, and flighty.

Damn it, this is too… agh, I don't even _know_ the word! IT LOOKS SET UP! NOOOOO. It MUST NOT LOOK set up!!!

"CUT CUT CUT!!! Goddamn Shikmaru, could you make it look _anymore_ set up? Just act naturally!!!"

"But this isn't natural!" He answered me, looking exasperated.

"Do you think I care?! Either make it _look_ natural, or I find you a body double. It's _not_ that hard to find a proper body double, you know that, right?! Then I can get this bloody scene done, and I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!" I trailed off into maniacal laughter (_again_… I do that rather a lot, don't I? Anyways), and both of them looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

Puh-leaze. I lost my mind a _looooong_ time ago.

"PLACES. NOW." And they jumped back into action.

Ten minutes later, and we'd had no progress. Shikamaru would do something right, only to have Temari beat him off. Or, it was the other way around. If this kept up, I am going to commit suicide.

I twitched as; once again, Shikamaru forgot to grab Temari's hair. I twitched a second time when Temari glared at him, obviously trying to remind him, but he… well… he didn't get the hint.

So she stomped on his foot.

That didn't take, either, because he howled in pain, and started to hop about. Actually, he kinda looked like a rabbit.

Half of me was annoyed by how long this was taking, while the other half was dying with laughter. It's a good thing my camera crew know that I always want them to keep filming, unless I've said cut.

So they filmed Shikamaru bouncing around, and Temari on the ground, laughing. I would have to keep it as blackmail, yes I would.

Time ticked by, and we did the scene over and over. They never got it right; not even once.

That little twitch? Yeah, it turned into a full-out, throbbing headache. I put my fingers to my temples, and my crew stuffed their fingers in their ears. They knew that my screaming was _not_ going to be pretty.

"BOTH OF YOU, QUIT IT _NOW_! I HAVE A HEADACHE." I stopped yelling, satisfied to see both blonde and brunette wincing. "So, we have a contract, see? It's this thing where I tell you what to do, and you do it. Understand?"

They both nodded.

"Good. Shikamaru, kiss Temari."

He opened his mouth to protest, but I gave him my best snarl. There was _no way_ they were getting out of this. "If – you – do – not – kiss – her – _now _– as – in – right – this –instant – _now _– very – bad – things – will – happen. Very – _painful_ – things."

His eyes widened, and he _finally_ got the message (the one that said that if he didn't hurry up and get this scene done, his balls would be no more).

Shikamaru grabbed Temari by the wrist, and forced her against his chest. They stayed like that for a second, eyes boring into each other's.

"So, I guess I'll see you later, huh Sandy?"

She half pulled out of his grasp, but, Shikamaru, being Shikamaru, was too fast for her. His lips were on hers for merely half a second, but even that seemed like almost too much. But then, it was perfect.

Temari pulled herself out of his grasp, her face flaming. She stared at him for another minute, before pulling herself together and turning around.

"Guess so. Peace dude."

And then she walked off, into the sunset, but not before she flipped him the bird over her shoulder.

Wait for it, wait for it… "SQUEEEEEE!!!!!! THAT WAS PERFECT GUYS!!!! Finally, _finally_ it's perfect!!!! Now you guys can leave. Camera crew, TO THE EDITING ROOM!!!"

And so, my camera crew and I went to the dreaded editing room, where they were to piece my movie together, and I was to yell at them for not doing it right.

And I totally didn't see Shikamaru link his fingers through Temari's as they were leaving. Not at all.


End file.
